Counseling for Individuals & Couples

Here it is!  Finally the free MP3 download of my favorite relaxation technique!

The video is just a quick instructional video that I use to go over the details of this technique, why it’s so great, and what “tapping” is.  Watch the video once to get the idea, and then simply use this MP3 download any time you’d like to experience this technique.

Relaxation Technique MP3

PC users, Right Click to download link.                                                                                                  Mac users, Ctrl + click on link, then select Save Link As

Enjoy!

Is anyone else struggling with worse than normal allergies this year?

Man, my energy and creativity have been hijacked by allergies lately which is why things have been running so late on my blog.  I want to apologize for the delay in getting not only this post done but May’s Newsletter out and the free MP3 I promised. Both May’s Newsletter and the free MP3 of my favorite relaxation technique will follow shortly…. I promise!

Today I want to share my final (for this month) tool that I like to keep in my toolbox…. The 5 Love Languages.

The 5 Love Languages is a book by Gary Chapman that helps us understand that we all have a different “love language,” or ways that we hear/feel/experience love.   So if we know our partner’s love language then we are better able to make them feel loved, supported, cared for, and important to us.   Great ability to have in a relationship, right?!

The 5 Love Languages are:

1. Gifts- small non-expensive tokens of appreciation, for example homemade cards and notes, fresh picked flowers, a cup of coffee
2. Acts of Service- doing actual tasks, for example the dishes, making the bed, washing the car
3. Physical Touch- which is not sex, but cuddling, hand holding, back rubs….
4. Quality Time- time spent together talking with no other distractions (like the TV)
5. Words of Affirmation- using words to tell someone how you feel about them, what you appreciate about them, or what they have done well

I am telling you, knowing, understanding, and using your partners love language can really restore and deepen your relationship!

But personally, I keep this book in my toolbox because this love languages idea transcends romantic relationships and helps me have better relationships all around!

4 other relationships The 5 Love Languages can help to restore and deepen

• Yourself. Knowing what love language you are allows you to create more effective and healing self-care strategies. (Like when you have allergies for example!)
• Your Kids. Using their love language allows them to really feel your love and support in a whole new way; you are speaking their language and telling them that they are OK just as they are when you use their love language.
• Your Friends. Again, helps you to better support and connect with your friends and understand why they want/need certain things from your friendship.
• Your parents. Being aware of your parents love language can help you better connect with and help your parents AND better understand why they may be asking certain things of you.

And don’t forget, knowing someone’s love language also helps to better understand the other side of things as well. Meaning, there may be many things you are unknowingly doing that hurt the people you care about because of their love language.  For example, if your friend is a Quality Time person and you tend to flake or show up late for the plans you make together, this will create more hurt in this relationship then it will it someone with Gifts as a love language.

Click here to discover your love language and learn more about this book.

The 5th tool I’d like to share from my toolbox is a new version of an old standby…. Journaling.

Journaling is an important self care tool because it is a great way to 1. Keep track of your thoughts and feelings 2. Discover patterns in your life, and 3. Shines light on the places where you have grown vs. the areas you still need support.

In other words, Journaling helps us to see not only where we started and where we are now, but also how we got here.

I think what keeps many of us from utilizing this easy affordable tool is the misconception that journaling has to be time consuming, tediously detailed, only kept in a special journal or notebook, or be written in full sentences. None of this is true!

We can use our cool gadgets and new technology to make journaling modern, simple, easy, and portable. Laptops, cell phones, iPods, and daily planners can all be easily transformed into modern day journals.

Here are some examples of how to turn your favorite technical gadget into a useful modern journal.

iPods

• Create a “week in review” playlist by adding one new song each day of the week that sums up how that day went for you. Repeat this process each week.

Cell Phones

• Using your calendar function you can either add descriptive words that summarize your day, or rate your enjoyment of tasks once completed.
• You can also text yourself descriptive words, or even just a smiley face, when good things happen through out your day.
• Or you can take pictures through out your day or week to document your highs and lows.

Email Accounts

• Create a journal for yourself through email. Take a minute each day to type out a few sentences describing your day and then email them to yourself; this can be done at work or home, or if you have email on your cell phone while waiting in line, sitting in a waiting room, on your lunch break, basically anywhere. Next, create a specific folder dedicated to Journaling in your email account so they don’t get lost, or clog up your inbox.

Laptop/Desktops- There are so many communication programs to choose from, pick one that you like and make it your own. For example, you could….

• Record MP3’s of your thoughts
• Create picture journals by adding favorite photo’s into your favorite’s on Flickr
• Create an Excel Spreadsheet tracking descriptive words for each day