Counseling for Individuals & Couples

I found this great blog over the weekend (thank you Hulu!).  http://www.happiness-project.com/

What I love about this project is that the  author, Gretchen Rubin, “test-drives” different theories, suggestions, and methods to create happiness in her life;  she takes a suggestion or method and sees how it fits for her.

This is the key to creating more happiness in your life!

Happiness is not a one size fits all thing, it’s not supposed to be, and it’s OK that your happiness is different from my happiness.  The only thing about happiness that matters is that it actually makes you feel happy vs. should make you feel happy.

For example, in this post Gretchen talks about test driving a gratitude journal, which is a pretty common suggestion for creating more happiness in your life.   She says,

“Gratitude is extremely important to happiness, and keeping a ‘gratitude journal’ is an often-recommended exercise, but my gratitude journal never had much effect on me. I just found it annoying, and my journal was very dull. On this charming site, Thxthxthx, however, the writer manages to be very funny and engaging — and also show genuine gratitude.”

Gratitude is an extremely important component of happiness, however there are countless ways track and acknowledge gratitude and a journal is just one of them.  Creating happiness in your life comes from hearing suggestions, like adding gratitude into your day, and finding a way to make it work for you.

Instead of a journal maybe you….

• Send yourself or your love ones emails about the things you appreciate
• Place post-it reminders around your house
• Use your egg timer to spend just 1 minute a day making a mental list of the things you are grateful for
• Set reminders in your cell phone to stop and be grateful 2,3, or 4 times a day
• Create a “appreciation jar”- you and your family write down 1-3 things you are grateful for each day and place into the jar that you read together once a week
• Create some sort of an “appreciation challenge” with your partner or kids to see who can come up with the most things to be grateful for
• Use a chalk or white board to track your appreciation
• Pick one thing you are grateful for each day and then just count how many places you encounter it through out your day
• Text yourself a G, each time you feel grateful

The list could go on and on… it’s not about what or how you do it, it’s just about doing something that feels good to you.

Egg timer

Originally uploaded by harry.1967

Do you ever wonder how some people appear to have this calm balance in their life? It’s like they have endless time to get things done (and always seem to get their work done), while still are able to spend time with their families, they arrive places on time and not out of breath, and appear to have no stress in their life. It is easy to assume that this feat of remaining in balance at all times is a magic act they are pulling off, or an innate ability they are born; something that you’ll never be able to accomplish.

The truth is, balance is something everyone can have in their life with the proper tools- hence the Incredible Inedible Egg Timer.

An egg timer is one of my favorite tools for creating balance in life. Like your alarm clock, an egg timer allows you to get totally engrossed in something during your day, without the added stress of keeping track of time. When you start using a timer to create small pockets of time for yourself you’ll be amazed at how much more time you find in your day.

For example, mornings are hectic for everyone, and how we start off our day seems to influence how the rest of our day goes doesn’t it? So I use an egg timer every morning to carve out a little me time before starting my day. After I pour my morning cup of coffee I set the timer for 5-15 minutes, depending on how much time I have that day, and then I have that amount of time for self-reflection, mediation, coffee enjoyment, or what ever I am most needing that day. Because I know the timer is tracking the time for me, I am able to let go and really make the most of my time, have several moments of calm and quiet, and still make it to work on time.

The ways an egg timer can help you create balance in your life are limitless, and this will be a topic I explore in more detail in future blogs. But just to get your wheels turning a bit on this subject here are some ways you can start using an egg timer to create more time and balance your life….

Your To-do list

• Thank you card writing
• Email/blog checking
• Phone calls
• Bill paying
• Home or office organization/cleaning
• Menu/shopping list planning

Your personal time

• Quiet/self-reflection time
• Meditation
• Exercise/Stretching
• At home facials
• Hot baths
• Reading
• Sitting in a coffee shop
• Watching the rain
• Online shopping
• Cat napping

grow a therapist

Originally uploaded by emilyintheworld

I love the concept of this “grow a therapist” toy!

First, it’s just funny- love the “uuuuuuumkay” quote, and that he is able to “connect thousands with their happy place,” and that “you won’t need shock treatment.” All very good things to find in a therapist for sure!

Secondly though, I like the idea of having this silent reminder with you throughout the day. The reality is you, and you alone, are the expert on your life. There are over 10,000 (10,080 to be exact) minutes in a week, and as a therapist, I spend 75 of those minutes with you. So, it’s how you apply the things we talk about and the things you learn that ultimately influences your life.

This is exactly why I decided to ask so many questions in my blog vs. telling you tons of information. I could read every therapy book out there and summarize them all for you (and I will do some of this too), but it’s what you do with the information that matters. It’s trying on different points of view, daring to look at yourself a bit closer, and figuring out what fits for you, not anyone else, but just for you that builds a more healthy life.

So maybe this grow a therapist toy is the perfect therapist for some of us…. a sort of WWGATD (what would grow a therapist do) to take with us throughout our day and remind us that healthy lives and relationship are ultimately up to us.